Free Association Sunday
1pm
So this is really fucked up. I spent a couple of hours this morning composing a really fun (for me, at least) blog entry for today. My new “Free association Sunday” posting. Then Firefox crashed, and the draft I was working on in “deepest sender” disappeared. Grrrr.
The funny thing is that my topics, along with of course Earth Day, were all about living in the now. The present. Being present. If I try to rewrite it all now, I blow the whole concept of “free association”.
I guess the joke’s on me, today!
10pm
And now as I finally come back to this, after spending the afternoon and evening with a friend and sponsee, and having a massage, I really need to go to sleep, but I’m worried.
My daughter, my angel, is to check into the hospital tomorrow morning at 6am for labor induction. I’m only worried because she is scared sick. My heart is breaking for her. She’s had all the prenatal care she should, read the books, studied Lamaze, but she’s frightened beyond imagining, and that is what’s got me so worried.
I should be able to choose my words better. I’m not really worried. I’m distraught. I’m overwhelmed. The thought of her fear fills me with such a huge and overwhelming feeling of powerlessness, that it’s hard to breathe. As her mother, I don’t think I’ve ever felt so unable to comfort or protect her as I feel right now.
Please keep her in your hearts and good thoughts or prayers as you will, dear friends. I’ll be back as soon as I have a grandbaby, however long that takes.
So this is really fucked up. I spent a couple of hours this morning composing a really fun (for me, at least) blog entry for today. My new “Free association Sunday” posting. Then Firefox crashed, and the draft I was working on in “deepest sender” disappeared. Grrrr.
The funny thing is that my topics, along with of course Earth Day, were all about living in the now. The present. Being present. If I try to rewrite it all now, I blow the whole concept of “free association”.
I guess the joke’s on me, today!
10pm
And now as I finally come back to this, after spending the afternoon and evening with a friend and sponsee, and having a massage, I really need to go to sleep, but I’m worried.
My daughter, my angel, is to check into the hospital tomorrow morning at 6am for labor induction. I’m only worried because she is scared sick. My heart is breaking for her. She’s had all the prenatal care she should, read the books, studied Lamaze, but she’s frightened beyond imagining, and that is what’s got me so worried.
I should be able to choose my words better. I’m not really worried. I’m distraught. I’m overwhelmed. The thought of her fear fills me with such a huge and overwhelming feeling of powerlessness, that it’s hard to breathe. As her mother, I don’t think I’ve ever felt so unable to comfort or protect her as I feel right now.
Please keep her in your hearts and good thoughts or prayers as you will, dear friends. I’ll be back as soon as I have a grandbaby, however long that takes.
4 Comments:
T,
I am praying for you and you *KNOW* I have a direct line to God, LOL. You are gonna get that beautiful grandchild soon woman!
Being in the present is tough when your child is in fear. Sometimes I have to treat my daughter as if she's a sponsee - I have to so detatch from her fear to save my sanity.
Two years ago, I went through the same thing waiting for my grandbaby. My daughter was a mess. And the baby is the greatest joy in my life. I wish you (and your daughter) the best!
Oh, and Thorne: Grandparents and grandchildren are united against a common enemy - the parents.
My "expertise", if any, lies in making the babies, not having them, so I won't presume to offer any advice to you or your Daughter.:)
But the one thing I do know, is about nature. Ready or not, it's going to happen on her time!
I look forward to your account(s)? of the arrival of your Grandchild.
positive thoughts coming your way!!
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