Humpday (or: I'm Still Not Over It!!)
(was: Jessica Valenti and Co. --Get Over It!!)
I'm gonna start this week's rant with a simple statement:
I have not yet read Full Frontal Feminism.
This is not a review of the book.
This is not a review of the book.
What this is, is an attempt to understand what all the bruhaha over the book and Jessica is about, and come to some understanding of my own place within the vast construct of feminism and feminist blogging and writing.
I come late to the debate, as is my wont, but have many feelings and thoughts and questions and as always, opinions of which to write.
In a nutshell this whole situation seems to have evolved because:
a) some Women bloggers Of Color (henceforthto be referenced as WBOC) had the nerve to speak their truth and the audacity to think they might be heard.
(Of all the ridiculous, naive, idealistic hopes.)
b) Jessica Valenti was either unable (if I'm charitable) or unwilling (if I'm honest) to get past her defensiveness (again; if I'm charitable) or racism/elitism (if I'm honest) and give the criticisms and comments the consideration they deserved as women (if I'm charitable) and as part of her potential target readership (in the least.)
c) and some white and "house"-bloggers (referenced later if you make it past this summary into the twisted convolutions of my mind) who completely invalidate those WBOC mentioned in point a), with their rationalized and self-justified support of the Author, JV.
End of summary.
Stop here or forever abandon ye all hope, as ye enter into yon abyss (otherwise known as: Thorne's World.
Stop here or forever abandon ye all hope, as ye enter into yon abyss (otherwise known as: Thorne's World.
The big bummer starts somewhere over at feministe, and spreads from there throughout the feminist blogosphere, and perhaps beyond. (I don't think that link is the beginning, I'm a little disoriented from all my link-leaping the past few days.)
The Girl from Mars, probably says it most succintly below:
"The furore over whether Valenti’s book was inclusive of women of colour (apologies to fellow Brits - we just don’t use that phrase here, but I’ll use it rather than any of the Brit alternatives) wasn’t about jealousy over not getting a book deal, personal issues with the author or the rest. It was about an accusation that has been made about feminism since the very beginning: that feminism is largely a movement for well-off white women talking amongst themselves and that issues of importance to nonwhite women are systematically marginalized. This is a HUGE issue, and the response from many of the WoC bloggers out there shows that it is one that strikes a chord with them. Saying that it’s not important is simply not an option when there are so many many women out there telling you that it is.
As feminists we hate it when left-wing men tell us to suck it up about our issues because talking about them is “divisive”. Why can’t we white feminists get that it’s just as patronizing and just as wrong (Steve, I do mean you) to ask nonwhite feminists to shut up about their issues?"
(discovered via Belledamme222 at Fetch me my Axe, who is no slouch herself, and has this to say:
...You know what, everyone? Shut the fuck up. Listen to what fellow feminist bloggers are telling you. They feel marginalised and ignored in a movement whose goal is equality and whose members are quite able to spot a man exercising his privilege at a thousand paces, yet somehow can’t see how a white feminist could be doing the same thing.
Still I must needs have my say, and I can't help but wonder why JV is so able to address the criticisms over the cover design:
“Ah, the book cover—the bane of my feminist existence! Obviously there have been a lot of negative comments about the cover, and for good reason. And I’m glad that it’s being talked about; it’s just put me in a very difficult position. On the one hand, I think a lot of the criticisms are right-on. But on the other, this is my book cover and I have to sell it and stand by it!”with a certain aplomb and open mindedness and yet completely dismiss the criticisms and comments of fellow feminists as sour grapes.
JV goes on to say that:
the idea of a “full frontal” feminism—a stripped down, tell-it-like-it-is kind of political discourse—
If that is actually so, why then couldn't JV and Co. (as I term her mob of thoughtless supporters) handle the stripped down, tell-it-like-it-is kind of [sic]discourse that these WOC bloggers are engaging in and inviting discourse upon if only someone would fucking listen!!!!?
I can understand that JV would feel defensive after putting her heart and soul into a creative endeavor, as would most of us. I can even understand how any difficult it would be for any one of us to truly be inclusive of the wide and diverse variety that feminism must needs embrace if it is to continue to move forward and raise awareness and affect change in our world. What I have trouble understanding is how as a writer she can fail so horribly at hearing the criticism of a significant representation of her reader base, without (the appearance of ) pausing to give their insights some serious reflection. Without the self awareness and personal insight to know that even if she can't be all inclusive, that it is indeed a goal toward which we all should strive.
I reeeeaaalllly want to know why it would have been so fucking difficult for JV to respond to the criticisms of WOC with something like
“You know, your feelings and responses are totally valid and I appreciate the input. Tell me more. I need to hear this.”
Why is it so difficult for folks to look past language or style and address the issue? I think this shouldn’t be so damned difficult, especially for a writer; but who the fuck am I?
I want to ask Jessica why she felt she needed to defend herself from the criticisms, instead of carefully sifting through them and doing a check to see where she could maybe do better next time... and perhaps where she might have to punt and say,
“Hey, I think it’s so fucked that anyone feels that I’ve marginalized them. I screwed up and I’m sorry.”
(Unless, of course, it’s true that her “privilege” is indeed manifest in that she’s not sorry. Not one bit, because not only does she not hear these very valid opinions, but her self image and the world according to JV doesn’t allow her to even consider that even if unintentional on her part, the fact that these WOC feel marginalized is reason enough to be sorry. Period.)
JV could have said:
“That wasn’t my intent, and I feel I did the best I could from my life experience. I appreciate the input, and will do my best to assimilate it so I can use it to expand my understanding of myself and feminism.”
Or maybe she even could have defended herself by saying something really honest, like...
“You know, I can’t even begin to understand how marginalized you WOC might feel, because I have no frame of reference within my personal life experience within which to assess it!!! ”Fuck me!! I'm an ass!! I never gave any of that a thought! Or, well, I thought I did, but if you WOC are feeling fucked over, maybe I'd better reconsider!!(since we know she like to curse, as do I, I feel free to include swearing in my hypothetical rendering of a few of JV's many possible responses)
Maybe because it’s so much easier to “react”. Maybe because those of privilege are so entrenched in it that they fear what they don't understand. Maybe because to challenge their privilege is to make them fearful of losing it; because the only fucking way for them to keep it is to deny that it exists.
Not that JV doesn't pay lip service to her understanding of her status among those of privelege; she does:
It’s more difficult and uncomfortable to imagine that the book is actually inclusive and complex—which I think it is. I don’t say this to downplay my privilege, which I’m constantly thinking about when writing, but to point out that looking at a picture of me and reading a short bio doesn’t reveal all that much about who I actually am. That’s why I get into a lot of my own personal life in the book—like a lot of women, my lived experiences have informed my feminism in a huge way.
Ahem. Pay lip service, that is. JV says that you can't know her by reading her bio, etc. and that she includes alot of her personal experience into the book. How can she possibly not get that her life experience is not inclusive of those life experiences of many WOC?? Does this woman truly not see how she validates their comments and critiques in her very attempts to
So, yeah... I really have to say... (without comment on the actual content of FFF itself):
Jessica Valenti: Get Over It!!!!
Oh, wait... I’m soooo not done.
It’s time to address the “and Co.” part of my title. This part is for all the so-called feminists who reacted with a mob mentality and rallied ‘round JV without giving any real thought to any of the criticisms by the WOC who commented, and who are guilty of the same oversights and self-centeredness as is JV, above.
Just because you did not agree, does not in any way, shape, or form invalidate those opinions!! Rather than address the multitudinous JV supporters on the bases of their individual bigotry and shallowness, I've picked one quote, by a writer who claims to be a WOC while not defining herself as such. Frankly, I chose this comment from so many sparkling gems because this single post, written by a woman of color, is perfectly indicative of the mentality of the white feminists in general who have chosen to so vocally express their support of JV, and thereby express their support of the structures of privelege.
Go fucking figure.
Layla says:(# 8, but go ahead, jump right in... read the whole thread and weep)
Jill, you apologize for yourself and your views way too much. You most certainly did not ‘fuck up’ — and I’m saying this as a past critic of Jessica and (1) as a ‘woman of color.’ Which is a stupid term — my color is only skin deep and I don’t define myself by it.
Jessica is anything but a ‘marginalizer’ — and as a feminist, let me tell you, (2) white women are no more privileged than any others. As far as our biology, our sex, goes, we are all equally oppressed or liberated. (3)If ‘women of color’ are more oppressed, it’s more because of class and culture reasons than by reason of their sex. (4)Feminism is the great equalizer, and frankly, these self-absorbed women of color (and admittedly, (5)I am self-absorbed too, but at least I don’t expect everyone else to be absorbed in my issues as well) need to get a fucking grip and lay off Jessica. One would think Jessica had just single-handedly managed to fuck things up for ‘women of color.’ (emphasis mine)
Let’s address the above marginalism itself, beginning with my notation of:
(1): as a ‘woman of color.’ Which is a stupid term — my color is only skin deep and I don’t define myself by it.
Well goody for you. Too bad you live in a world where many people do define you by your skin color. Does your skin color have any bearing on who you are? How about your gender? Do you define yourself by that? Others do. How about adding those together? Can you really be so blind as to believe that those separate but here combined “definitions” do not have an impact on the way you are perceived?
(2)white women are no more privileged than any others. As far as our biology, our sex, goes, we are all equally oppressed or liberated.
Oh. My. Goddess.
Do we live on the same planet?? First of all let’s address the fact that our “biology” and our “sex” are not synonyms. But I don’t want to nitpick, so that said, may I ask how your clitorectomy is workin’ for you, and the perhaps the reasons you chose to have one?
And while we’re at it, why not tell us how the world looks from behind your burqa.
I could go on, but (dare) I assume you get the point??
(3)If ‘women of color’ are more oppressed, it’s more because of class and culture reasons than by reason of their sex.
Hello, you idiot!! What the fuck are you saying now? That you agree?? Of course it has to do with class and culture! And why do all closet and armchair racists seem to come down to playing that blame game, instead of owning the fact that it’s white patriarchy (and now white feminism) that is keeping it this way?!! If you are actually a WOC, you are the modern equivalent of the “house nigger” who looked down on her fellow slaves from the lofty perch conferred upon her by none other than WHITE MASSA HIMSELF.
(4)Feminism is the great equalizer.
If that were true, none of this would be happening. I almost wish I had the energy to do a lil more research to point out the many ways that WOC everywhere in the world are (including here in the US) are more oppressed, more abused and more devastated overall by patriarchy than are white women in general.
Why I should have to search out and post links to material regarding this well documented fact is a mystery to me. I thought we feminists were able to read and assimilate information. Well, my “duh”.
(5)I am self-absorbed too, but at least I don’t expect everyone else to be absorbed in my issues as well)
Well, that’s just fucking ridiculous! Tell us, layla... please expound. Dazzle us with your wisdom.
What exactly is activism all about?
What is feminism all about??
What is feminism all about??
It’s about trying to get others/the world to get involved in our issues!!! To make them their issues!!! To open their minds to a reality they mayn’t heretofore have realized!!
Oh my. I’m worn the fuck out. I’m just gonna wrap up this section of this rambling rant by saying if that was a woman of color, I won’t even address the “white” feminist response. (But I have to say that if you white bitches really believe that this isn’t about racism, you are sooooo fucked up!!)
So... “And Co.”... Get Over It!!!
Before I move on to the last section of my dazzlingly allegorical and fumblingly metaphorical dissertation on antidisestablishmentarianism (not really, but I've always wanted to use that word)... I have to include this most incredible post that I have thus far encountered in my linklust to try to get a well rounded view of this whole situation.
Ilyka Damen’s “A Preview of Coming Attractions” is awesome!!!
If you are white, if you are male, if you are non white...purple, queer, green, straight, human, animal vegetable or mineral, please follow this link and give it the weight it deserves in your personal considerations; in your personal quest for unity, spiritual, political or intellectual growth!!! If you go nowhere else from here, please, please read this post!!!
(Damn! Take a breath, Thorne. Shit, I think I'm having a panic attack... or maybe my head's gonna explode... or fuck it; just gimme a razorblade. Yeah, that's it, straight up the stream, not across the river... hehe.)
Until now, this has been about my opinion, and the marginalization of WOC by so-called “main stream” (or Full Frontal?? *snark*) Feminism. At this point readers, you must needs continue forth and take a dip in the ocean of my personal experience (via the waters of my usual self reflection and disclosure) if you are to navigate the depths of the context from which my opinions arise. The well of my life experience; if you will.
Or not! LOL.
(Really, although I love that folks read me, I am not so egotistical to think that this rambling dissertation of opinion and self exploration is necessarily an important or even worthy read. Nonetheless I am called, and must needs follow.)
(Really, although I love that folks read me, I am not so egotistical to think that this rambling dissertation of opinion and self exploration is necessarily an important or even worthy read. Nonetheless I am called, and must needs follow.)
As a woman of mixed ethnicity which includes more than a dollop of syrian ancestry, I have never identified as (or with) “white” or even "caucasian". I do in fact, consider myself “nonwhite”, although my personal identification doesn’t hold water for alot of POC, who don’t “see” me as one of them. None the less, whenever I have the opportunity, my choice of checkboxes under the heading of ethnicity is "other".
My daughter’s sperm donor (*snark* - read: my first husband) had more than a dollop of Native American ancestry. Our combined ethnic diversity resulted in our daughter, who is even more “nonwhite” than I, and still somehow considered somehow outside the circle of POC by many if not most folks who identify as such. (She, also thinks of herself, as "other") Now I have a new baby grandson, who brings his father’s “egyptian aka: black” (my Son-in-Law’s words) ancestry into our family mix. My grandson may actually turn out to be “dark skinned enough” to be accepted by POC as a POC... (??) but I digress.
What I’m trying to say is that there are alot of us who fall through the cracks of any identity, label or generalization. The comments and critiques and feelings of the WOC who chose to express them are valid.
Period.
Maybe I’m being naive and idealistic, but shouldn’t all feminists have concern when any woman feels marginalized by the “movement”? Isn’t this sort of separation and division a symptom of the patriarchy that has so influenced us all? And doesn’t it just make a wonderful tool to further divide us and weaken our efforts to upgrade women everywhere from their positions as second class citizens (at best) and property, or garbage (at worst)?
Why can’t the white feminists accept their position as “privileged” and work to reach out, understand and include those who are not? Dialogue and consideration is all these WOC are asking for. Why the fuck is that so hard to give? No one, (least of all WOC, who already know how fucked up you white bitches are *snark*) expects you to be perfect, just to admit that you’re not!!
Why not just recognize that feminists embody a huge diversity of people and celebrate that fact?
In closing, a quote from a totally unrelated post from BlackAmazon from last year some time, which I think needs to be recycled for use here and now in this situation.
And it comes down in essence to this.
"For some folks community only means community if it is exactly how they want to form it. What the parameters of discussion will be how much they have to deal with outside their comfort zone. When real community building happens it happens with birth pains and having those explains (??) shows who the builders are and who the pretenders are . Pain is the exposure of weakpoints ( to paraphrase Pain is weakness leaving the body) to the stress that show where they are weak . To make anything strong it must tear and break and HURT.
And anybody who keeps asking why this has to hurt so much is asking in essence why did it have to change.
And to see that after many times of what people hoped was honest open discussion People still luxuriate blindly in the erasure of WOC statements and consensus only in the absence of POC critique says a lot about them .
People HAVE offered community , what they offered wasn't EASY community, it wasn't UNCHECKED community, and it wasn't this skip through the fields no question sisterhood either. And then I wonder maybe they aren't ready for it maybe their too weak and feebleminded"
--BlackAmazon
I pray that our growing pains don't kill us.
And no.
I'm not over it.
And I'm not sure I want to get over it.
So there.
Labels: C, feminism, FFF, get over it, humpday, racism, WoC, women bloggers
